[TW Sexual Assault]
I once had a guy tell me that since I was wearing a tank top, it was fine for him to pull off my shirt. I was wearing a sports bra, and almost got suspended at school for him ripping my shirt off. He walked away without a warning, meanwhile I was given unofficial detention.
(submitted by anonymous)
The goal of How to Save a Life is to enlighten, validate, and lighten the lives and experiences of survivors of abuse, sexual assault, and social injustice. Sociology will be a factor on How to Save a Life, but only in fun little comic strips.Personal Stories I Can Help Tell Your Stories
Look at how poor female survivors of sex trafficking are treated: 45 out of 50 states refuse to expunge/vacate our prostitution arrest records, which employers then use to deny us chances for jobs. Lawmakers know that this holds us back from being able to get ANY job at all so we can rebuild our lives and emotionally heal, and get on our feet to support ourselves - thanks to Welfare Reform, there is NO adequate economic safety net for unemployable destitute, marginalized women.
This is what pimps mean when they tell their victims, “Once a whore, always a whore.” Pimps KNOW that society has allowed poor throw-away women and girls NO OTHER PLACE except the gutter and an early grave (life expectancy rate for poor sex trafficking survivors in the US is 34 yrs old), and that those of us who survived and escaped prostitution by sheer luck are NOT treated very nicely by everybody else. Jacqueline Homan (via hayleystarkftw)
Anonymous asked: My girlfriend of 2 years was raped as a child She often pushes me away when I touch her in a non sexual way understand it and when she says no I stop She apologizes after constantly tell her she shouldn't be sorry. Are there more ways i can help her?
Talk to her.
Also, ask her about the apologizing. If she’s apologizing- it shows there is something wrong and sometimes just a ‘no you don’t have to apologize’ isn’t enough. A lot of people who go through childhood trauma- apologize pre-emptively because they’re trying to avoid getting hurt again.. and just telling them not to apologize is only going to make them anxious and feel worthless for having apologized. it’s a vicious cycle where they feel like if they don’t apologize, they’re going to get hurt and if they don’t apologize they’ve let you down. I had a friend who was really big on apologizing all the time- and one of the things that worked for us, is instead of apologizing he would just ask ‘Okay?’ as in ‘Are we okay? is this okay? am I okay?’ and I’d either smile/nod my head/respond with ‘okay’. It allowed him to feel comfortable that no one was going to get hurt but didn’t involve him apologizing for things he didn’t do or for just existing.
Ask her if there are ways y’all can be intimate without touch. Remember that intimacy isn’t only about sex. One of the most intimate things my partner ever let me do for him? was brush his hair. At least, it was for me. There are ways to foster closeness that may not be as triggering. and these things can often help a survivor feel safer in a relationship as well.
Anonymous asked: christ i have no idea what to do. last week i moved out of my mom's apartment and into a house with some friends. i didn't even make it through the first night before getting belligerently drunk and then raped by one of my roommates. what's worse is it keeps happening -- i drink to forget it happened, they do it again, i feel worse, i drink more, repeat, repeat, every night. i don't know how long i have to live with this. i moved out because i was raped in my former bedroom. now i have to...
(cont) deal with this? i know if i say anything they’ll think i’m a liar. i don’t want to be homeless, but this is a whole new kind of hell. they act totally sweet around me during the day and it turns my stomach worse than the alcohol. they kiss me and i wish i were dead. how the hell do i stop this? because i can only think of one alternative. i don’t want to die but i might not have a choice if this is all i’m worth. i’m just an object to everyone i meet. what’s the point?
Do you have some other friends you could stay with temporarily?
Or maybe go to a shelter.
There are also some places you can look on tumblr- unfortunately I only have the link to the trans one, where people post like.. ‘Have a couch’ for people who are in bad situations and need a place to crash. If someone knows of one that isn’t specific- could you link it in the comments?
I know this is a bad situation- but there are options, I promise, If you could get in a shelter or crash on someone’s couch until you worked out a new living situation. If your mom wasn’t the problem/there were no bad people living there- maybe you could sleep on the couch there?
I promise you are not an object. and I am so sorry that the people you thought were your friends would do this to you.
You are worth so much more than this, I promise.
You’re already homeless emotionally, because of what they’re doing to you. I’d say go to a shelter or find a friend to couch surf with. If I could help, I would.
A 14 year-old boy was recently raped at knife-point by a 20 year-old woman. When the story broke, it was primarily men who claimed he should have enjoyed it. It was feminists who validated his pain and spoke in support of him.
This is why we need feminism.
"but men get raped too-"
AND LOOK HOW YOU HANDLED THAT