The goal of How to Save a Life is to enlighten, validate, and lighten the lives and experiences of survivors of abuse, sexual assault, and social injustice. Sociology will be a factor on How to Save a Life, but only in fun little comic strips.Personal Stories I Can Help Tell Your Stories
Anonymous asked: So my brother and I are in our mid-20s. He's just a year older than I am and I'm a gay male survivor. I had to tell him what happened to me, but about a week before I had to tell my story he came up behind me to mess with me and I don't know if it's the right description but he was basically dry humping me and said joked about fucking me in the ass to which I said back off (except i wasn't that polite about it). I know he's my brother and it may seem like harmless teasing but did he molest me?
Typically molestation is used in reference of minors. (Or at least- what I’ve seen of it)
But what you’re saying- could definitely fall under the category of sexual assault.
He’s your brother. which makes it all the more harmful. Family shouldn’t joke about fucking you (or- lets be real, raping you. because it’s not like he’s talking about getting consent. no, he was joking about violating you.)
You have every right to be extremely upset about this.
You have every right to be hurt over this.
What feelings you are feeling?
Too often harmful things are written off because it is a family member that does them but.. being family doesn’t make it okay.
it can make it hurt worse. because you have to see these people all the time- and you’re supposed to trust them. but when they do things like that? it doesn’t make them worthy of trust.
Anonymous asked: The more I learn about consent, rape culture and those issues, the more I think back to conversations I had with my girl friends and realize they have been assaulted too but think it was just a bad sexual experience because neither them or I were educated on enthusiastic consent and what constitutes rape... and there are girls I don't speak to anymore and I just wish I still had a mean to contact them and give them the info I now have so they can process the trauma. ( part 1 / 2 )
(part 2 / 2) I know I didn’t process it until I was able to call it by its name, and yet it was ruining my mental health all along, with dissociation and other ptsd symptoms. Back then, some of them blamed their mixed feelings on past sexual abuses that fell into what they (we) felt was undeniably abuse and I just…I wish I’d known as much as I know now.I wish I’d been able then to infuse the idea that it wasn’t consensual and the guy was a shithead rapist. Fucking rape culture blinding us all
It can be so hard to look back and realize the moments that.. if we knew then what we knew now.. we could have done so much.
It’s so important that we talk to young people about consent. and especially consent out of the bedroom. and talk about sex in ways that aren’t just ‘don’t do it!!! you’ll get stds and die’ and don’t shame people for having sexual feelings. We need to talk about better ways to deal with this.
I think the biggest thing is just.. to remember that you can’t change the past- but you can help people now. and if someone told you those things now- you’d know what to do.
I once had a guy tell me that while rape jokes may not be funny to me, they’re funny to other people and I shouldn’t get so mad when people joke around about it. This man was my dad. I don’t think he understands that I’ve been raped before and these “jokes” are triggering to me.
(submitted by breadia)
I once had a old guy corner me in the store I was working in and tell me he wanted to take photos and make pornography with me. After being persuaded by my manager to make a statement, I was told by the policeman that it was harmless and to get over it. He didn’t record the statement.
(submitted by anonymous)
[TW Sexual Assault]
I once had a guy tell me that since I was wearing a tank top, it was fine for him to pull off my shirt. I was wearing a sports bra, and almost got suspended at school for him ripping my shirt off. He walked away without a warning, meanwhile I was given unofficial detention.
(submitted by anonymous)
Look at how poor female survivors of sex trafficking are treated: 45 out of 50 states refuse to expunge/vacate our prostitution arrest records, which employers then use to deny us chances for jobs. Lawmakers know that this holds us back from being able to get ANY job at all so we can rebuild our lives and emotionally heal, and get on our feet to support ourselves - thanks to Welfare Reform, there is NO adequate economic safety net for unemployable destitute, marginalized women.
This is what pimps mean when they tell their victims, “Once a whore, always a whore.” Pimps KNOW that society has allowed poor throw-away women and girls NO OTHER PLACE except the gutter and an early grave (life expectancy rate for poor sex trafficking survivors in the US is 34 yrs old), and that those of us who survived and escaped prostitution by sheer luck are NOT treated very nicely by everybody else. Jacqueline Homan (via hayleystarkftw)